(aka The Stockholm or "Hostage" Syndrome)
Many women feel locked into a "hostage" syndrome and thus continue to remain in an abusive relationship.
The abused woman of domestic violence:
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may depend on the abuser (financially, emotionally, etc.).
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is intensely grateful for small kindnesses shown by the abuser.
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denies the abuser's violence against them, or rationalizes that violence.
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denies their own anger at the abuser.
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is hyper vigilant to the abuser's needs and seeks to keep the abuser happy; to do this the survivor tries to 'get inside the abuser's head.'
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sees the world from the abuser's perspective; they may not have their own perspective.
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sees outside authorities trying to win their release (for example, police, parents) as 'bad guys' and the abuser as the 'good guy.'
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sees the abuser as the protector.
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finds it difficult to leave the abuser even after their release.
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has difficulty providing adequate care for dependent children.
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fears the abuser will come back to get them even after the abuser is dead or in prison.
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shows symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), such as a recurrent emotional reaction to a terrifying, uncontrollable or life-threatening event and/or develops symptoms such as nightmares, overwhelming feelings of fear and anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and increased stress in relationships after a person's sense of safety and security are violated.
Symptoms and reactions are common and an important part of initial adjustment and later recovery.
Why Some Women Do Not Report Abuse
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Fear that they won't be believed
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Shame or humiliation from family, friends or society
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Fear of continued abuse
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Values keeping the family unit intact
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Unaware of the support available
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Fear of a change in immigration status
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Fear of losing children to the abuser
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Financial concerns